To Serve and Protect...by the book.

I had two seperate police visits tonight. I call them visits because we get them quite often here. In fact, we're so familiar with these visits that I could probably write out their training manual.

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Tonight's first visit went as such:

Typical 5 fast and hard knocks on the door, followed by another five.

I was talking on the phone at the time. I knew exactly what kind of knock that was and exactly who was going to be on the other side of the door.

Me: "....wait, someone's at the door," (Opens door) "I'll talk to you tomorrow, the police are at my door. I'll write about it in my blog."

Policeman #1: (As he laughs at my comment about the blog then tries to regain composure) "We're here about a noise complaint. You guys need to keep it down."

I swear they have some handbook or script that's titled 'Noise Complaints:Tips and Tricks to take control of the situation'.

Me: "They're all gone."

Po po #2: "Who's all gone?"

Chapter 4:Probing Questions-get the answers you need for your report

Me: "The people who were making the noise."

P1: "Okay, so they've left?"

Chapter 5:Confirm and Restate-be repetitive and ensure all parties understand the situation clearly

Me: "Yeah, my roommate had some friends over and they were being really loud, but they're all gone now."

P2: "So they're all gone now?"

Me: "Yes, they're all gone now."

P1: "And what's you're name?"

Chapter 8:Making sure you leave the scene with all the necessary information

Me: "Wendy."

P2: "Wendy?"

Me: "Wendy."

I figured Chapters 1, 2 and 3 would include subjects like serious-face preparation, knocking, greeting, and maintaining composure.

Now here's where the second police visit comes into play. Chapters 6 and 7. I'm guessing that the fist two officers forgot these two imperitive chapters. That's why they had to send someone out again. There was only one officer at the door this time. This one was more flustered and angry (he obviously had the manual memorized word for word). The other two seemed like rookies.

Since my friends and I were just on our way out, we were all there to answer the door.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock....two seconds later....knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. So predictable.

"I'm here about the noise complaint. You guys REALLY need to keep it down."

"But we weren't the one's making the noise. The people who were making the noise are already gone now."

"But I just talked to the other officers and they confirmed that all of you had left."

"No, all of the people who were making the noise are gone. We weren't the one's making the noise."

"So you guys weren't the one's making the noise?"

"No, they've left."

"We've been here 3 times already this year. Well, this school year. And we are definately going to have to charge you next time we get a phone call about noise coming from this apartment. I'm serious this time."

"Okay."

"But seriously, next time we get a noise complaint call about this apartment, you guys are going to pay a fine. You are using up our resources and are definately going to pay next time. I'm writing it in the system." <<<-----remind me to write about these 5 powerful words later

"Okay, we get it."

Then he stormed away. I'm surprised he didn't stomp his feet louder for extra emphasis on the severity of our offense.

Chapter 6:Stating the Consequences in an Effective Manner-helps to reduce the likelyhood of a repeat offender

And last but not least...

Chapter 7:Communicating the Warning and Fine in a Way That Will Help Offenders Understand-this way the offense is unlikely to be repeated

Who's the REPEAT offender now?

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Even though these visits were so routine, they still reminded me of my worst nightmare...

A record that skips...

:^)